If you are feeling lonely as you read it is perfectly fine, you are not alone. The reason I wrote this post it is because I know how is like being lonely. Loneliness is a very close to me because I have been through the emptiness and meaningless feelings many times. I am not new to this kind of feeling and I want somehow help you. The practical steps on this article might help you overcome your loneliness or a least ease the pain.
I have felt the long hours which seems like days. The lonely nights where I weep in silence, drenching my pillow salty with tears; the lack of desire to face the next day and the thought of wanting to end it all.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, husband, or wife. No matter how close you are with them, there are parts of you that they just don’t understand right? The pain doesn’t fade away after confiding with your best friend, your group of buddies–or even your counselor! Nobody seems to understand you, yet you want them to feel your pain. I understand you, I really do.
And I have good news for all of you feeling lonely out there. You can survive this feeling and solve it if not it will at least ease your pain.
This Loneliness Article will help You To:
- Understand the theory behind loneliness to better understand yourself
- Clarify the feelings associated with loneliness
- Develop a healthy feeling of love to help you overcome loneliness problems
- Find practical steps to break your loneliness cycle
- Replace the feeling of loneliness with healthy thoughts
It is my sincere wish that after you read this article, you will be better equipped to cope with loneliness. Even if you don’t feel lonely, maybe you know someone who is and you can use this information to help them and make their world a better place.
Are you feeling alone? Everyone in the world has feeling the loneliness emotion one time or another in their life so you’re definitely not alone. Especially in these times rapid technological growth and the covid-19 pandemic the feeling of loneliness is rapidly increasing.
First of all, you must clarify what loneliness means.
Loneliness is a human emotional state. This is a state where people experience a disconnection from people around them as well as a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders their present companion around them meaningless.
This person could be in a big crowd or by him/herself, married or single, young, or old and still feeling lonely. These people find it very hard to connect with others and experiences emancipation from meaningful relationships.
Don’t confuse Loneliness with being alone
Being alone does not equate to being lonely because sometimes it is good for a person to be alone and at times it could be very refreshing as the person can refresh, recuperate, and rediscover part of their lives.
What are the common symptoms of being alone? if you are reading this article, I bet you might be feeling one of these symptoms.
- You think your problems are so unique that other people won’t understand it. As a result, you feel that other people in the world have friends and they has never happened to be in your situation.
- You feel extremely self-conscious in everything you do
- You feel extremely embarrassed when you do something wrong
- When you are in a crowd, you feel drowned by their voices
- You feel disconnected with the crowd even though you are with them
- Experiencing low self-esteem, feeling shy and scared of others
- Feeling angry, defensive, and critical at everything even if it is not directed at you
- Afraid of strangers and refuse to talk to engage in a hearty conversation
- Being convinced there is something wrong with you
- Feeling anxious and sad believing no one knows how miserable/isolated you feel
- Losing your capacity to be assertive’ feeling “invisible”
- Refusing to accept change and don’t want to try anything new
- Feeling as though nothing else matters and contemplating suicide
Are You Feeling Isolated
Are you crowded but feeling Isolated. Do you ever have the feeling that your wife or husband doesn’t understand you? Your spouse or significant other is right beside you, yet it doesn’t fill that gap.
You may be surrounded by many people, yet their company ‘drowns’ you deeper into loneliness!
People feel that way because we are all unique and different. You see there is no one in the entire universe that will have the same personality, ideas, way of life and needs like you. NO ONE! Not even twins!
How can anyone fulfill all those needs to cater every individual?
There is a quote from the bible that says if I try to remove the speck from my neighbor’s eye, I must first remove the plank from my OWN eye then I can see clearly before I attempt to remove his speck.
How does this apply?
By understanding that other people are not obliged to fulfill our needs, we somehow learn to expect less from others, and it eases the pain, because we stop expecting more from others! We learn to accept them better and judge others less, so it creates the first step to cure loneliness.
Remember that. “We are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most of our time with.” If you are with a crowd that is negative and makes you feel down all the time, it is no surprise that you are feeling lonely and negative. It is no surprise that children move out from their homes away from negative parents or stop interacting with certain groups of friends all together. Don’t let the poison drain your energy.
Your Loneliness And Emotional Pains
How does the agony of loneliness seem to penetrate the hearts of men and women throughout the world? Even superstars who have been the icon of generations and admired by millions feel unfulfilled. The feeling of loneliness is radically due to the failure of man in loving others. The symptoms of loneliness magnetize the effects of the pain to the extent that it forces, and the focus of attention creates more self-preoccupation and obstacle to love others.
Lack of Love And Loneliness
Love, or rather the lack of it constitutes the loneliness breeding in a person’s heart. It is a scary fact to note that we are largely shaped by others (remember the sum of five people we spend most of our time with) who hold our destiny in their hands. you are what you are today, a byproduct of those who loved you or have refused to love you.
Love is gives life to others. But what is most important to remember that to love someone else effectively, you must love yourselves first—You can’t give what you don’t have!
You may think you ‘love’ a beautiful girl or a handsome guy but, if you don’t love yourself.
You may admire that person because he or she is good looking, you may worship that person because you think he or she is better, you may even sacrifice your life for him or her for your own selfish, self-gratifying ego, but you do not love.
Remember, love is a verb, it is an action. The feeling of love is a product of the verb or action.
By loving yourself first, it forms the basis or foundation by which you love others without which it is merely a baseless act of self-deception that appears to be loving.
But how do we love ourselves if we have never been loved? Keep reading I will explore this area.
15 Practical Steps to Overcome Loneliness
There are several ways to begin dealing with loneliness that involve the need to develop friendships, doing things for yourself, or learning to feel better about yourself in general. The following 15 practical steps will help you to build confidence and overcome loneliness or a least ease the pain.
- Constantly remind yourself that the feeling of loneliness is temporary, and you will get over it in time
- Try to talk to someone new. I know it is hard, but you must develop momentum and the first step is usually the hardest but the most necessary.
- Put yourself in new situations where you must meet people. Engage in activities in which you have genuine interest. Meet with people with similar interest of yours
- Join societies like church groups, organizations, and others
- Stop increasing your pain by listening to lonely songs or watching loneliness tv series.
- Open yourself to others first. Don’t expect people to share their problems with a closed person
- Don’t judge new people based on past relationships with old people. Try to see each person you meet from a new perspective instead of bringing judgmental.
- Intimate friendships usually develop gradually as people learn to share their feelings. Don’t rush into intimate friendship by sharing too much or expecting that others will.
- Don’t just seek romantic relationships. Platonic or even casual buddies can be extremely satisfactory. Look for truth love!
- Lead a well-balanced life. Never neglect good nutrition, exercise, and sufficient sleep. One of the main causes of depression which leads to loneliness, is the lack of those things.
- Spend time alone. It will help you examine yourself more closely.
- Don’t be a parasite to your friends. If you seek them for compassion and sympathy, they will be there for you. But if you repeatedly drone over and over about your problems, it becomes a nuisance, and your friends will at best just entertain you.
- Reflect on good memories and count your blessings no your problems.
- Learn a new skill. Success in achieving something will make you feel good about yourself.
- If you are having long term depression, it is not wrong to seek
Medical advice. Because it is perfectly normal to get prescription lack of certain chemicals in the body is also the source of depression and can be treated easily. If we feel hungry and seek food, having the right medicine in proper dosage is the right way to tackle depression and feel less lonely.
- See a counselor and talk in privacy.
- Spend time in Prayer.
Be Caution With Loneliness
Don’t act like a hero because you are lonely.
You may be surprised. Self-pity is a subtle form of pride. Proud people glory in their achievements while people who self-pity glory in their sufferings. It is dangerous to dwell too long in loneliness because we are created to have relationships with one another.
It is a strong part of human nature that cannot be erased. If you grew up living alone in a jungle, you will most probably interact with animals or plants and talk to them in your own language. The greatest worry is when someone dwells too long in their loneliness these few things can happen.
- The loneliness addicts all attempts to reconnect rendering their people around them lots of pain when their efforts to help the person gets rejected.
- The relationships around them slowly crumbles and when people start to ignore the lonely person, they will feel more justified when they finally exclaim, “Look at them; I was right all along that they never cared for me at all!”
- The loneliness addict eventually gets immune to the pain and embraces loneliness as a way of life. His disease spread to other ‘survivors’.
This should motivate you enough to take action.
Check my personal development program BetterYou 3.0.