Self-Confidence: Why is it Important?

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Why is self confidence important? Self-confidence is the fountainhead of everything else in your life. You draw from it to achieve and build the other areas of your life. Think of it as the fuel tank of your life. It’s not the physical fuel; it’s not something that you can reduce to a substance, but it exists. People might not realize this, but self-confidence gives you the power to achieve success in all areas of your life.

Career

Self-confidence is important for your career because, like it or not, businesses are looking for leaders. When you check out that ad, and you see that they’re looking for an entry-level person, you can bet that if you are a person who positions yourself as a future leader, you will go places in that company. It doesn’t matter whether you applied for a seemingly dead-end job. Once the business enterprise sees you as potential leader material, they would invest in you. They would have a vested interest in your personal development. You have to understand that businesses live or die based on how effectively they can turn rank and file employees into leaders.

Now, this leadership position can take a wide variety of shapes. You can be a frontline leader, meaning like you can be a low-level manager. You can be a member of the middle management, or you can become a vice-president or even CEO. It all depends on you.

What’s important to understand here is that businesses are desperate for future leaders because, let’s face it, the vast majority of people who apply for jobs do so because they need to pay the rent. They’re just looking to making ends meet. They’re not looking at the future; they’re looking at their short-term needs, and accordingly, most of them never become leaders. It’s completely outside of the conception of their place in the company. They’re just looking to solve a problem.

If you’re a confident person, you can become a leader.

You can project an air that things can be done. You can inspire others, not only with your productivity but with the emotional signals that you send out. People become optimistic around you. You can boost productivity simply because you inspire people.

These are the types of individuals businesses are looking to develop and promote because if they can produce enough leaders, they will blow away their competition. Why? Their competition is staffed by people who have very short-term attitudes. Those people are simply looking to do a day’s work for a day’s pay. Nothing more, nothing less. A company staffed almost 100% of people with that mentality cannot go far. Companies that have leaders with self-confidence will always beat it up. However, for you to become a leader, you must have self-confidence.

Relationships

Relationships involve two different people, two different egos, two different backgrounds, and two different pasts. Whenever there is a difference, it can be an inspiring thing because let’s face it; there’s nothing more exciting than talking and dealing with somebody who experienced things that are very different from yours.

Now, as amazing as this difference may be, it can also lead to conflict because you didn’t come from the same place. You didn’t experience the same things; you didn’t have the same ideas and influences when growing up. Accordingly, when you’re in a relationship, it’s too easy to look at it as competition. It’s too easy to look at it as somebody winning and somebody losing.

Unfortunately, if you have low self-confidence, it’s easy for you to gravitate towards an attitude where you believe that it’s better not to assert yourself and your needs lest the other person might leave. In other words, you let your fear of losing them take over your relationship. It’s no longer a relationship at that point.

You must remember that relationships are spaces and arrangements that let both people grow.

It’s very hard to grow when you always deny yourself. It’s very hard to truly blossom when you feel like you have to hold yourself in because you’re afraid that you would lose the other person in the relationship. Ultimately, without self-confidence, your identity in the relationship becomes subsumed into the identity of your partner. In other words, the relationship is all about them, their needs, their plans, their future, and you then are left making all excuses as to why you let this happen.

One common excuse is to simply fool yourself into thinking that you’re doing everything that you could do to support the relationship. You’re not supporting the relationship because you’re completely out of it. The relationship is not your partner. Unfortunately, that’s when your support takes the form of denying yourself, your needs, and your identity within the relationship. All you’re managing to do is support your partner and nobody else.

You need to be strong in your conviction to keep on loving.

You need to carve out your own identity. You need to make sure that your relationship is built on a solid foundation of respect and equality. None of these are possible if you don’t have self-confidence.

For your relationship to be healthy, you have to get noticed. The other partner must not only notice you but give you proper respect and take your feedback. Furthermore, they must defer to you from time to time. In other words, you need to make your voice felt. This is almost impossible to do without self-confidence.

Another reason why self-confidence helps you in your relationship is that, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. People can and do screw up. You or your partner can be unfaithful. You can say the wrong things at the wrong time and hurt each other. All sorts of things can go wrong.

Given all this, it’s important to persevere.

It’s important to bounce back in a relationship. Make no mistake about it; your partner can say something so crushing, so cutting, and so humiliating that it’s very easy for you to throw in the towel and walk out. However, you don’t. If the relationship is worth it, you don’t. You hang in there. It requires resilience. You need to hang in there long enough for you to communicate in such a way that he or she learns from that sad experience and gives you proper respect. That’s not going to happen if you don’t have enough self-confidence going in.

It’s too easy for your relationship to become so fragile based on such low self-esteem that its only a matter of time until either of you walks away. If you think this is difficult enough, understand that getting into a relationship in the first place requires confidence. Why? You need to stand out from other suitors.

If your partner is very attractive or appealing, you can bet that there would be other suitors. It depends on their level of appeal. Of course, the more beautiful or appealing the partner is, the more competition you have. However, even if your partner is not all that attractive, there’s still at least one person that is interested in your partner, or your partner might be interested in somebody else. To stand out from the competition, you need self-confidence. At the very least, you should be able to make a case for yourself as to why your prospective partner should pick you instead of somebody else.

Life Enjoyment

Regarding your quality of life, self-confidence is crucial. Seriously, you can’t live your life in the shadows. If you are not self-confident, you resign yourself to being yet another face in the crowd. You start believing that you don’t matter much. You start believing that you really can’t speak up because your voice doesn’t count for anything.

You can’t live life without speaking out for your needs. Why? People can and will step on you. You see, life is a dog-eat-dog landscape; it really is. Forget everything that you’ve heard before. It’s not a world of sunshine, smiles, unicorns, and lollipops. It can be brutal out there. Unfortunately, far too many people move in when they detect any weakness. If you give somebody an inch, it’s not uncommon for them to want to take a mile. If you give somebody a hand, don’t be surprised if they want to take your arm as well.

You must be able to speak up for your needs.

You have to be able to stand on your rights. You can’t just live in the shadows and constantly give in. It’s going to get in the way of your enjoyment of your life. You feel you’re simply settling for something that is getting smaller and smaller with each passing day. You start feeling that you are a bystander in your life, and regardless of how you feel, and regardless of what’s going on, and how hurt you become, it doesn’t matter all that much because you don’t matter all that much. Do you see how corrosive this is? Do you understand how you have set up yourself to live such a pathetic life? It is pathetic because you are capable of so much more.

The bottom line is if you want to be successful in anything, you have to be confident in yourself. Nobody can do it for you. Nobody else would do it for you. Nobody else can do it for you.

Part of this blog post is from my book Self-confidence 2.0. Read the whole book .

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